Well, sir, I just couldn’t wait to get to the next page. I could feel myself growing impatient in the fact that I could not read fast enough to see how Bob handled “our” situation.
You see, I realize not everyone has the same experience, but Bob George could have easily been writing about me. As he sat at the traffic light, tears of frustration streaming down his cheeks, he conversed with God. He didn’t know WHY he felt frustrated. He had a wonderful wife, wonderful kids, wonderful home. Had the approval of his church buddies. Yet, there was this emptiness… or something. Again, I could totally agree. I had a wonderful husband, two good kids (as was proven with their EXCELLENT behavior on my wild trip to the bookstore…) yet, I sure wasn’t doing that “resting” thing that was spoken of earlier. Apparently, this Bob fella wasn’t either. “Let me teach you what the Word means..” Bob felt God tell him. Hmm… as I read that, I thought to myself, “But I KNOW what the scripture means–shoot–I’ve taught it for years!” Imagine my surprise when the very next line I read, is Bob telling God, “But Lord, I KNOW what the Bible means..” Scary to say the least. Very uncanny. It was as if God were using this book to speak to me. Come to find out, Bob and I both knew what the scriptures SAID, which is a far cry from what it MEANS. I was flabbergasted, and, I must admit… a little bit taken aback. How dare I not know what it meant? If that were the case, what had I been teaching the precious children at church every Sunday?? To be honest, I really didn’t want to go think about that, so I kept reading.
As I completed the book I was washed anew with His Love for me. The book basically had re-stated what the chatter and I had been talking for weeks. How God reconciled us back at the cross–a one time act that does not need repeating. How Eternal life is Eternal life, because of the Cross dealing eternally with what killed us to begin with–our Sin. He talked of how we’re forgiven, once and for all, because of Christ’s blood, not because of our good works or confession or anything else. It talked about how God is the initiator and we respond… not the other way around. Everything, but everything that God does is motivated by sheer love.
When I finally put the book down… I knew I had a decision to make. Was I going to plunge headfirst into the full gospel? Was I going to accept that this was the way it was, and forever leave the way I had been brought up? I knew, somehow deep within, that if I took the plunge, there would be no going back, not even if I wanted to. I felt I was standing on the edge of the proverbial pool where Christ asked the lame, “Wilt thou be made whole?” I’ll admit, as great as it sounded, I knew I was a bit scared. This was totally contrary to everything I had been brought up to believe. I almost sensed that if I accepted this, I could expect rejection from my church home, my family, and several Christian friends. Was this worth it? I thought of how my life was thus far. Ulcers, stress, loneliness, despair and misery were my constant companions. However, I never told anyone this because “Good Christians” don’t admit to that… after all, we’re all going to heaven! Yet, that was my deep dark secret. All of these thoughts swam around in my head for a total of maybe a whopping 60 seconds. The moment I said “YES!” to God’s unmerited Grace—to HIS view of Everlasting LIFE, my knees became weak, and right there in my bedroom, I fell on my face before God, thanking Him for loving me so much that He moved heaven and earth to give me the Gospel in it’s pure form.
Friend, I wish I could describe the experience that night… alone in my bedroom with just me and God. Being washed, totally submerged into God’s Grace. The moment was intense, as the bonding with the Holy Spirit made me anew. I knew, in that instance, I belonged to God. My past did not matter, my future was to be in Christ, no matter what. That one point in time–that instant, I knew I was one of God’s own Children.